i’m getting better.
the more days that pass, the better i feel. i’ve been taking walks alone around carrick station; the big republic fleet actually lets me feel safer. i know no one can get me here, and i know if something happens i’ll be safe. i’ll just have to scream and i’ll be okay.
i ran into master ihlrath the other day on a walk. he was one of the jedi who rescued me. he was the one who slipped me his comm information the day before everything goes fuzzy in my brain. he was the one that got my information to zentoyo for jerhal’s party.
i never knew he and jerhal were such good friends, or that he held vyen’a and lieutenant teral in such high regards. or… anything, really. he told me stories about jerhal, too. it was good, so good, to hear about him from someone who knows and isn’t afraid to tell me things.
it was a good day that day.
tonight was even better.
vyen’a came in to tell me that she was going to go get smokes and by the way someone on her comm wanted to talk to me. so i picked it up and said hello and…
i’m still smiling.
it was jerhal. the regiment he’s with hijacked an imperial holo-buoy and they rewired it and everyone was able to make calls. and we talked and talked for hours and hours and i told him what happened - what i could remember, anyway - and he let me know he was okay and he said he loved me and still wanted forever. and he called me his fiancee. so i guess i didn’t dream it when he said he was going to marry me when he gets back.
we talked until the comm died. and the last thing i heard him say before that dead air silence was he was coming back safe to me and that he loved me.
and i’m still smiling.
i’m going to get better now. i have to get better now. i need to stand up tall when he walks off the transport in five weeks. thirty-five days. and i know i have people on my side. master ihlrath. lieutenant teral. vyen’a.
and when he gets back, jerhal.
i can find my strength in numbers until i can stand on my own again.
i can do it.
((so awesome thing: jerhal’s player was online for a bit today; he’s finished with basic, yeah! he’s got five weeks left - AIT is next - and then the RPz will (in theory) start again. WE’RE PROUD OF YOU, HON.))